embezzling | ✯ I ; video/action for new bark ✯

[ Uh-oh, it's that time again. All of the new kids have started pouring in on one of Johto's famous sweeps of the dimensions--

Well. "Kids" might not be the most appropriate term to use here. ]

The heck is going on here-- [ A popping, deafening tap-tapping on the Gear's voice recorder could pop the eardrums of anyone listening too closely. Thump, thump, it beckons dully. The voice behind it sounds gruff and with the gravelly tone of a deep-chested smoker. ] Is this thing on?

[ The video feed flips on (accidentally) and viewers are greeted to a shiny pair of shoes and the bottommost hems of a dapper pair of slacks. The thing is clearly being held upside-down... ] Stupid technology... [ A cream-colored creature saunters over those feet, rubbing on the man's legs.

The device is flipped around and our vocal complainer's face is revealed. Oh he's... Old, squinting through his glasses. ] What's the big idea here? One second I'm trying to find my slippers, and the next I'm bein' woken up by some lady who's saying she's my mom! [ A 'Reeeowr~!' mewl busts in from down below and Stan shuffles visibly to the left. ] I'm not a fan of cats either.

[ Oddly enough, he seems pretty resigned to this like it's just a bad dream or something COMPLETELY NORMAL. ]

I shouldn't've eaten that can of peas before bed. Should'a known they weren't of this Earth. Now I'm hallucinating.

[ Sure, Stan. Whatever you wanna believe. ]

Guess I'm just riding this one out.

[ The cat screeches as her tail is stepped on and the feed abruptly cuts off on a flailing note. ]

Will you get outta here--!

[ Booop! ]

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I'm not getting huffy! That's not even a thing!

Prior whats exactly............

You sure look huffy.

I ain't in the mood to deal with children right now. Shoo.

[ He IS in fact a weird doomsday prepper. ]

How the heck is eating food interesting? If you didn't feel like going to the store on the regular, you'd eat whatever you got in the house too.

Economy, schmeconomy. It's better than wasting time to make counterfeits.

Stan Pines. What kinda name is Two-Shoes, anyway?

Not that I care.

Gracious, I didn't realize "Mom" was so into her programming that she called everyone her child. I would have expected, at least, for an advanced gentleman like yourself she'd say that she's your daughter.

[Yes, that's what Botan takes out of the whole thing. Enough people have probably jumped on him about accidentally stepping on his Pokemon, people have probably told him that he's not hallucinating either.]

I suppose you could say you're just riding it out, that's what we're all doing in this place.

It's my name, that's what it is! And it's a pretty cool one if you ask me.

[He doesn't seem at all phased, mostly since he's been asked that plenty of times during his time here.]

But you can just call me Jimmy! I've been here for a while, so if you got any questions I can try to answer 'em for you!

I've had weirder stuff happen back at home. [ Have you really ]

"Advanced" is kinda accurate, I guess.

It is not so much the food itself, so much as what it says about your very being!

Edited 2015-10-08 03:00 (UTC)

[Harvey grins; he's a little jealous of the easy money, but it is fun getting to explain this stuff.]

First off, you're gonna wanna take it out and let it get in some fights. That's how they get stronger. It ain't hard, you'll get swarmed by rats and birds and stuff the second you step outta town.

Whatever. I hope your Pokemon bites you.

Prior convictions.

Well uh, welcome...to Johto.

Not that you haven't been greeted here already, probably. I mean, who knows, you might even have gotten that one guy who thinks he's President!

It looks like plenty of people have told you about Meowth's "special ability".

If you're interested in money, then you might also care about doing the little gym challenge they have around here.

Have you? Oh, lovely, then you'll fit in right as rain here! [Botan checks the caller ID for his name.] Mr. Pines? My name is Botan, I was given the role of a Breeder in this world, so once in a while I have eggs to sell.

--Ah, right, Pokemon lay eggs, yes all of them, yes even your cat.

Anyway, if there's ever a Pokemon that strikes your fancy, you can get an egg for it instead of trying to catch it. Sometimes that's a lot easier than dealing with traveling to where they show up and weakening it so it'll stay captured.

[Grumpy old man.

.................................................

What.]

That's an awful name.

Classified.

[ oh coME ON?? ]

How? She loves it!

Lots of things say something about my being, okay. Peas shouldn't.

Okay, but then she'll start spitting out money right?

[ stan it doesn't work that way. ]

My paperwork says I've got the "breeder" thing going on too. You can't just put two of them in a box and make the magic happen, I guess.

[ A beat and he wrinkles up his nose. ] There's too much reading involved in this whole rigamarole. You'd think it'd make more sense to have 'em do it on their own.

Also: I've met a whole one Pogglemin [ that's not how it's pronounced at all, so I can't say there's anything that strikes my fancy. You got some suggestions, Pretty Lady?

... Haven't run into that one yet.

[Oh, now you have his attention.]

Not anymore. Spill it.

[ Not today, Satan. ]

I don't gotta tell you anything about my past parking tickets, buddy.

[ Parking tickets. ]

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